The Power of Forgiveness

Often your greatest freedom lies on the other side of something hard to do. Have you ever felt like the things that will bring you freedom are often the hardest to do? For me, this meant walking through forgiveness. I am talking about the power of forgiveness, this is the very thing that Christ offered us; the place where He exchanged His life for our freedom. Yet, in this world, our fleshly nature can wrestle with the opportunity to freely offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us or those we feel may not deserve it. 

I sat down one day knowing that the Lord had asked me to offer forgiveness to someone who had caused me deep hurt and pain. To be completely honest, I didn’t really want to release them of the justice I felt they owed me. I wanted them to feel bad for what they had done to cause so much pain to me and my family. In the natural realm, I had “every right” to be angry and to not forgive them. However, I recognize that we as Christians don’t function from the same place that the world does. We live in a culture where justice is far more important than reconciliation. I might have been justified in my unforgiveness but I could feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart.  He was invited me to partner with Him,  to let go, and to forgive just as I have been forgiven. 

In Romans 3 (TPT) it says that “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” I had to stop and remind myself that I fit under the category of “All”.  I am not exempt from this passage or the true reality that we all fall short and YET –  there is a message of grace and hope that far outweighs the reality of our shame and sin.  

The Bible also says in Matthew 7(TPT) that we will be judged by the same standard that we judge others. This one is hard to read and fully comprehend. By choosing to judge this person and remain in unforgiveness, the Bible says that I will be judged to the same degree. Ouch! There is no getting around this truth; it is plain and simple as much as we might try to complicate it or justify it. We have been forgiven for our shortcomings so should we release others from their sins.  

Often it can be easy to fall into the mindset that we have a right to play judge and jury but we haven’t actually been given that right or authority. Only God can judge the hearts of man. 

So what does true forgiveness look like?  When we have been wronged or hurt by someone, forgiving them does not mean that we are accepting their behavior, words, or actions. It says that we surrender our right to hold an offense against them and our desire to make them pay.  Forgiveness is a choice more than a feeling. I didn’t feel like forgiving this person for the hurt she had caused but when I live in unforgiveness, I live in sin. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.  

Forgiveness can be costly and it doesn’t always feel comfortable. I knew that I would probably never get a chance to face this person again and never be able to tell her how bad she had hurt me. In my quiet time with the Lord one day, I heard Him ask me to write a letter to her. He asked me to release her and let go of hurt and pain. He took me to several scriptures about forgiveness. In Psalm 51:10 (TPT) it says, “Keep creating in me a clean heart. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.” We are to practice compassion and kindness to one another, forgiving as we have been forgiven.  

A few weeks after writing the letter I asked the Lord what I should do with it. Mailing it to the person who hurt me was not an option and I knew that wasn’t what He was asking me to do. My husband and I went to the beach one night with the intention of letting go of my unforgiveness. We worshiped together, took communion and then I walked to the edge of the water. I tore up the letter into 1000 little pieces and let go of unforgiveness. I felt a weight lift off of me as I sobbed my eyes out and gave my hurt to him. I told the Lord that I loved him and knew that He created her in His image too. I asked Him to bless her marriage, her children, and her future.  The Bible says in Luke 6:27 that we are to bless those that mistreat us.  It is the unfair advantage to living a pure life of peace we get when we partner with God’s way.  He is the one who brings justice and doesn’t need our help.

Are there days where I have opportunities to partner with unforgiveness? Yes absolutely, I still get the opportunity to choose forgiveness daily. Whenever I feel something that doesn’t align with God’s Word and what He says about forgiveness, I run to Him.  I tell Him the truth of what I am feeling and then I surrender it at the cross, giving it back to Him. It’s costly but I promise you it is worth it to live a life free and forgiven as He has forgiven us. I don’t want to hinder anything that God wants to do in my life so I must learn how to live in a place of surrender. A place where my hands let go easily and I chose not to let my heart grow hard. I ask Him to keep me soft and to help me have a pure heart; one that is pleasing to Him and one that says I am willing to forgive even when it feels too hard. 

Are there places in your heart that you are holding unforgiveness towards someone? I invite you to sit with Jesus and surrender this to the Lord. The freedom you will experience on the other side of your obedience will be life-giving. Forgiveness is not just about our relationship with others, it’s also about our spiritual well-being. When we forgive, we take back access from the devil and allow the Lord to fully move in our lives.

Choosing forgiveness means choosing freedom, to live fully alive.  Fully Free of the bondage that unforgiveness brings.  There is no greater joy.